To put it plainly, divorce feels like death.
And it feels like death because it is a death, of sorts. The life you had (and the relationship you shared with your spouse in that life) are gone forever. Along with the fantasy of the future you once dreamed about together.
The “you,” you once knew, is gone too.
And while you may see glimpses of her in the mirror, once your marriage officially ends, you can never go back to being that exact same woman. The person you’ll become moving ahead is a new version of you. She may look the same, but something inside has changed forever and that is the very definition of a death.
Good, bad, or ugly — if you see the end of your marriage fast approaching, it’s wise to know what’s about to come next.
Like all deaths, divorce leaves a mark. For most people, it affects your health, productivity, emotional well-being and in some cases, even your life expectancy. Here are a few facts to consider, during divorce:
Anxiety and fear about the future skyrockets.
Your risk of alcohol addiction rises (this is especially true for divorced men).
Your risk of developing clinical depression also rises (this is especially true for women)
Your productivity drops at work by as much as 75 percent, putting you at greater risk for termination/probation
Along with countless other challenges like: insomnia, weight gain/loss, digestive problems and a weakened immune system
As you consider the fate of your own marriage, remember that giving up because you’re unhappy in this moment may not be the right answer.
Being spontaneous with a decision this serious isn’t wise.
Have you gone to therapy or worked with a coach to see if you can work through your differences with support? If it’s not possible to go to counseling with your spouse, research shows that even one person in therapy can make a difference on the outcome of the marriage. So if you want to stay and work it out, it’s not necessarily hopeless.
And, at least, entering into a breakup of this magnitude, you’ll know you personally did all you could to make the marriage work. That is the only way to move into divorce with the least amount of regret.